How to Save the World (when you don’t know how to/aren’t good at it)

Ask any Tom, Dick or Harry down the street if he’s a kind person, chances are, he’ll nod frantically or forlornly. A lot of us would like to save the world, help people, spark that shine in someone, inspire someone, the clichés are never-ending… but alas, we lack the philanthropic chops to do so. Or we lack the bee-stung lips, bodacious bum and booming bank balance to do so (Yeah I’m looking at you, Ange).

Some of us aren’t born naturally caring and sympathetic and empathetic – so we usually cope in 2 ways. We either stomp about proudly showing this shell (shield?) off, or we marry people who imbibe those qualities.

The stealthy churner of iffy maturity and subsequent realisation of moral relativism has embedded in me a vital ideology: If one can’t make something better, don’t make it worse. It goes without saying that there are obviously times I falter and falter hard. Like the time I got into a screaming match with my sister and attempted to rip her eyelashes out & roast them in order to protect my ever-so-important ego. Or like the time I tried to bake muffins. Point is though, 78.574% of philanthropy is committed not by making the angels come out and work their magic, but by making the Satans stay home and preventing them from breeding.

Here are some strategies (I feel like such a Dr. Phil) for the halo-in-heart-but-horns-on-head specimens of us:

Tip ‘em all: The Conservatives reading this probably want to pull my eyelashes out now but hey, Robin Hood was awesome! Take from the rich, give to the poor. Work the trickle-down effect. Also, it gets rid of loose change, makes the wallet lighter, makes one feel better (cause of the lighter wallet jeez), thus putting a spring in one’s step (also cause of the lighter wallet), and GET THIS: you don’t even have to talk! OR smile!! It’s a win-win situation really.

3 Magic Words: If you don’t mind taking the next step i.e. talking, this step will do wonders. I learnt these 3 Magic Words in school – Please, Sorry, Thank You – and they’ve still stuck for the most part. Living up to the stereotype of my fellow Canadians, thank you.

Leave the car at home: Go for a walk, use public transportation, fly! Walking clears the mind and makes one see things s/he might not have otherwise. Who knows? One might even have a change of heart horns. Also, think of all that you’ll be reducing: smog, road rage, depletion of the ozone layer, global warming, your expenses, accidents. Sometimes, I like to put my music in and walk down the street pretending to be Simba/Scar, depending upon my PMS cycle.

Stay at home: If you feel like you got off the wrong side of the bed and just cannot seem to shift to the rightish side because of that one sordid, sore, sullen bone then just stay in bed. It’ll save you grumpiness and the rest, their peace of mind.

Put a sock in it: if you can’t say something nice – and who can? – don’t say anything at all. If people of a non-messianic disposition would simply zip it and stop making snide comments about Al Gore and Sting and Bono, bona fide do-gooders could just get on with their peace-keeping mission to save the world and we’d all be living in Paradise. That’s right: No more sarcastic, snide comments from this quarter. Enough. Shush. Word.

This post was inspired by this absolutely endearing movie I saw recently – Amelie. This gem of a movie downed me in a whirlwind of quirky plots and subplots; the minute I started to fathom the ride, the next abrupt turn would come along. A lot of movies have this trait of connecting tiny dots to make a simple but poignant picture – but the additional topping with Amelie is that the picture isn’t only poignant, it has sprinkles of glitter on it, and the frame is neon orange and not brown or grey. And it sings to you when you aren’t looking.

P.S. This is my new fav smiley – ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it has such a Hakuna Matataey feel to it I love it! 
I shall be using this aplenty, you have been warned.

Stay Sparkling!

Mallika ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(told you so teehee)


Happiest Girls are the Prettiest!

What is happiness? – The quintessential philosophical question that evades the best, wisest and oldest of us.  In today’s world, a million opportunities surround us. Especially for us women, the world is an exciting oyster, and we are here to devour it. Sometimes though, it takes a while for us to swallow the oysters, and sometimes a while more for it to digest. These little obstacles in life tend to slow down, impede and tarnish the entire big, beautiful picture of life.

As women in this exciting 21st century world, we are inundated with opportunities and choices around us. As per Barry Schwartz, PhD, author of The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less, “The more options you have, the higher your expectations, and when your expectations are sky-high, you’re destined for disappointment…no matter how good things get.”

So, if lavishness doesn’t get us all giddy, then what does? In today’s consumerist society, we tend to feel like the latest gadget or article of clothing will bring us that everlasting bliss. But those goods leave a fleeting speckle of joy. So, what is the key to that bliss? Let’s try and get a li’l beneath the surface in our quest.

 1. Getting a close-knit, solid group of friends

From Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, to Emma and Liv in Bride Wars, and the epitome of Sitcom friendship – Ross, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler in Friends, we all need our posse. Those special few that brighten the rainiest day, our silver linings in the grey clouds – the list of clichés goes on. But the foundation doesn’t – we need our friends; someone we can be ourselves around and share our tiny joys and sorrows with.

2. Wake up early

A seemingly small cog in the machine of happiness, albeit a crucial one. Think back to the last time you showered in 5 minutes straight, printed your notes off in 3, grabbed a coffee in 2 more, and just made it to class in time; only to realise that your conditioner is still stuck in your strands, you printed last week’s notes, your coffee has no sugar, and you just made it to class in time. Waking up 15 minutes early would have prevented an array of tiny, stressful moments that may slightly mess your day up.

3. Have Adventures

Adventures needn’t mean being ‘wild’ in the stereotypical way – going to a party or a club, getting sloshed out of your mind, and not remembering it the next day. It could also be skydiving, or writing a book, or baking a new type of cookie, or taking a different path to hike from what you take usually.

Being adventurous comes down to 3 very powerful yet less used words – Follow your heart.

4. Send something to someone you care about anonymously

They say that happiness is like a perfume – one cannot have it without spreading it on others.

Knowing that you’ve brightened someone’s day can be the highlight of your day as well – simple as that.

5. Don’t sweat the small stuff

Okay, so you ruined your nail polish for the club tonight. Will that matter in a week?

Okay, so the hairdresser ruined your hair cut. Will that matter in a few months?

Okay, so your relationship didn’t work out. Will that matter in a couple of years?

No it won’t. You might not believe it now, but as clichéd as this may sound, it will. The nail polish will chip off, the hair will grow out, and the memories will be replaced by new, happier ones. And to aid the processes, there’s always acetone, a wig and lots of chocolate with reruns of Grey’s Anatomy, Pretty Woman and Psycho (depending on how twisty you are).

6. Loving yourself is non-debatable

You are awesome. And beautiful.  And intelligent.  And sexy.  And funny.  And kind.  And confident.

On certain days, you might lack a few aforementioned qualities. But always remember that those form the very core of you. Never compromise your values and beliefs for anyone; live your life the way you want to, without intentionally hurting anybody, and you’re en-route to blissful contentment.

The first stage to loving yourself is discovering yourself. Keep a journal, take those silly Cosmo quizzes, anything to find yourself, and once you find yourself, celebrate yourself.

Stay Bright and Bold Ladies!

– Mallika